I'm perusing through the latest issue of Import Tuner (February 2007 edition) and I noticed something. Are these guys fuckin journalists? Much like competing magazines, they can't spell, they can't put together a coherent bit nor can they avoid run on sentences. But what really gets me is... they have no fuckin clue. Here we go...
Exhibit I:
First, this "editor" speaks highly of the Fit, saying it's this and that. My opinion? It's a slow ass piece of shit microcar. Anyways, this "editor" writes of the Fit as if Honda has been sucking his cock. Or is he making a rather weak attempt at sucking their cock through these pages so he can score one for himself? Who knows. Anyways, he writes:"The Honda Fit models sold in the US are equipped with a 1.5L, SOHC, 16-valve 4-cylinder VTEC [sounds awfully similar to old single cam Honda engines, no?] engine that generates 108 horsepower and 105lb-ft of torque. While horsepower numbers are nothing to brag about to your friends, the Fit has quickly established itself as the new cult icon among Honda enthusiasts around the world. [And based on what evidence does he assert this?] Boasting amazing 38mpg fuel efficiency [Diesel microcars in Europe can get up to 80mpg, you fuckin nimrod, so that 38 isn't very impressive]... With the increase in popularity among the Honda Fit, we found it only logical [What are you? Fuckin Mister Spock?] to perform a Power Page test to see how the newest Honda would respond with some aftermarket bolt-on components."
Okay, fair enough... BUT... in the next feature...
Exhibit II:
The same "editor" is now talking about the GReddy turbo kit for the Scion tC. I don't really give a fuck, cuz the tC is a bitch's car anyways and any guy that drives one should hide his fuckin head in shame when on public or private roads. But anyways... This "editor" writes:
"How does a vehicle that whimpers to the tone of 80hp sound to you? Unimpressed? We sure are, regardless of the fact that these 'cute' looking vehicles are chugging along on our freeways, sporting a 37mpg fuel-efficient engine."
Okay, so let me get this straight. You think it was only "logical" to do a Power Pages write-up on the Fit, with its great fuel efficiency, yet you bash the same concept in the next article because you're blowing Mike Chung too? Are you confused? What's the message here? Do you like sucking dick or not? What a faggot, this "editor." Contradicts his own words in the same issue, in a subsequent feature no less!
And if you notice in the Fit feature, they list the name of the car owner. Do we give a flying fuck who owns this or any other car in these "Power Pages?" Who the hell is Sheng Chao? Did he / she - get an American name, you fuck... you don't live in China - suck dick to get these piece of shit parts?
Yes, folks. Import / sport compact magazine "editors" are NOT journalists. Hell, I'd be willing to bet that more than 1/2 never even graduated from (let alone attend) college. High school grads are usually relegated to flipping burgers at your local Mickey D's, but in the case of these "editors" it's okay for them to tell you what's cool, what's not cool, explain the technical workings of a turbo engine and so on? Nigga puhleeze!
