Monday, June 4, 2007

So, You're a "Tuner," Eh?

Everywhere you look, people and magazines call certain individuals "tuners." What the fuck is that exactly? There doesn't seem to be a universally recognized definition of one. Well, let's try to set the record straight.

When it comes to a car, there are a few primary areas that can be tackled:

- Engine tuning: ECU / stand-alone, fabrication and installation
- Suspension tuning: geometry set up, corner balancing / weighing, valving and installation
- Chassis tuning: stitch / seam welding, aerodynamics, stiffening, paint and installation
- Mobile electronics tuning: fabrication and installation (the world of SQ!)

Let me ask... are the "tuners" that magazines praise so much actual tuners? Do they even wrench? Have they ever picked up some tools and wrenched themselves? Or do they get someone else to do it simply because they don't know how. What difference is there between them and you, especially if they have someone else do all the work? The only difference is they get their parts for free. You don't. You just gotta love how some magazines say so-and-so "built" this and that. They didn't build shit. They're merely parts pickers. Hell, these fools don't even know how to drive. They even build "racecars" that never get raced. Rather, they sit in a garage or get trailered to a car show. Fuckin pathetic.

There are a few individuals out there who really know what they are talking about. The list is not long, but these guys are the ones who are truly building cars with their own hands. And they actually know what an engine map actually looks like. These guys are the ones who truly deserve the moniker of "tuner," not some faggots who simply pick parts out of a catalog and tell someone else to install / fab / tune it.

BE A REAL FUCKIN TUNER, NOT A PARTS PICKER.